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The end my focus…

There is fog in my mind.  I’ve begun my journey to go insane.  I’m a mess.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 9th, 2012 at 7:36 am and is filed under Personal Observations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

15 Responses to “The end my focus…”

  1. Zoltan Sachs Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 8:08 am

    Dude
    Snap out of it! You have always been positive and daring. I remember you telling me how you would take off a week each year, disconnect with just a backpack with no advanced reservations, plans or destination. I always marveled at your determination and your ability to deal with things as they came at you. This is your greatest challenge to date–you can apply the same attitude and tenacity to stay connected to life, your children, your wife and your friends. The following pros has spoken to me often in life when I am at a cross-roads. The first time I heard it I cried and still do every time I pull it out and read it. I think it is appropriate to share it with you. Your family and friends are the faces in the crowd. We love you man.

    THE RACE
    by Dee Groberg

    I.
    “Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!”
    They shout at me and plead.
    “There’s just too much against you now.
    This time you can’t succeed!”
    And as I start to hang my head
    In front of failure’s face,
    My downward fall is broken by
    The memory of a race.
    And hope refills my weakened will
    As I recall that scene;
    For just the thought of that short race
    Rejuvenates my being.

    II.
    A children’s race—young boys, young men
    How I remember well.
    Excitement, sure! But also fear;
    It wasn’t hard to tell.
    They all lined up so full of hope;
    Each thought to win that race.
    Or tie for first, or if not that,
    At least take second place.
    And fathers watched from off the side,
    Each cheering for his son.
    And each boy hoped to show his dad
    That he would be the one.
    The whistle blew and off they went!
    Young hearts and hopes afire.
    To win and be the hero there
    Was each young boy’s desire.
    And one boy in particular
    Whose dad was in the crowd,
    Was running near the lead and thought,
    “My dad will be so proud!”
    But as they speeded down the field
    Across a shallow dip,
    The little boy who thought to win
    Lost his step and slipped.
    Trying hard to catch himself
    His hands flew out to brace,
    And mid the laughter of the crowd
    He fell flat on his face.
    So down he fell and with him hope
    He couldn’t win it now
    Embarrassed, sad, he only wished
    To disappear somehow.
    But as he fell his dad stood up
    And showed his anxious face,
    Which to the boy so clearly said:
    “Get up and win the race.”
    He quickly rose, no damage done.
    Behind a bit, that’s all
    And ran with all his mind and might
    To make up for his fall.
    So anxious to restore himself
    To catch up and to win
    His mind went faster than his legs;
    He slipped and fell again!
    He wished then he had quit before
    With only one disgrace.
    “I’m hopeless as a runner now;
    I shouldn’t try to race.”
    But in the laughing crowd he searched
    And found his father’s face.
    That steady look which said again:
    “Get up and win the race!”
    So up he jumped to try again
    Ten yards behind the last
    “If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought,
    “I’ve got to move real fast.”
    Exerting everything he had
    He gained eight or ten
    But trying so hard to catch the lead
    He slipped and fell again!
    Defeat! He lay there silently
    A tear dropped from his eye
    “There’s no sense running any more;
    Three strikes: I’m out! Why try?”
    The will to rise had disappeared
    All hope had fled away;
    So far behind, so error prone;
    A loser all the way.
    “I’ve lost, so what’s the use,” he thought.
    “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
    But then he thought about his dad
    Who soon he’d have to face.
    “Get up,” an echo sounded low.
    “Get up and take your place;
    You were not meant for failure here.
    Get up and win the race.”
    “With borrowed will, get up,” it said,
    “You haven’t lost at all.
    For winning is no more than this:
    To rise each time you fall. ”
    So up he rose to run once more,
    And with a new commit
    He resolved that win or lose
    At least he wouldn’t quit.
    So far behind the others now.
    The most he’d ever been
    Still he gave it all he had
    And ran as though to win.
    Three times he’d fallen, stumbling;
    Three times he rose again;
    Too far behind to hope to win
    He still ran to the end.
    They cheered the winning runner
    As he crossed the line first place.
    Head high, and proud. and happy;
    No falling, no disgrace.
    But when the fallen youngster
    Crossed the line last place.
    The crowd gave him the greater cheer
    For finishing the race.
    And even though he came in last
    With head bowed low, unproud,
    You would have thought he’d won the
    Race to listen to the crowd.
    And to his dad he sadly said,
    “I didn’t do so well.”
    “To me, you won,” his father said.
    “You rose each time you fell. ”

    III.
    And now when things seem dark and hard
    And difficult to face,
    The memory of that little boy
    Helps me in my own race.
    For all of life is like that race,
    With ups and downs and all.
    And all you have to do to win,
    Is rise each time you fall.
    “Quit! Give up! You’re beaten!”
    They still shout in my face.
    But another voice within me says:
    “GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!”

  2. craig Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 8:12 am

    I just read your blog . I went upstairs to show Judy and she ironically had a dream about you. You are an inspiration to everyone I really don’t know what to say except I think about every day and I love you man…

  3. southy Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 8:12 am

    It’s OK man….the Mayan calender runs out soon. Try to stay focused a little while longer – the mother ship is coming!

  4. Vanessa & Gino & Mitchell, Mason & Ritter Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 8:12 am

    i’m so sorry you and Kasey and the kids are going through this, Rob. we love you. gino and i think about you guys so often, and we’ve felt such gratitude and admiration that you’ve focused on the positive side of things for so long. you have blown our minds with your open attitude and approach to this whole thing. we’re here for you, for Kasey, for Sadie and Cooper and we love you all so much.

  5. Annie Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 8:23 am

    YOU are a WARRIOR, my friend. You fight the good fight.
    If you grow weary, then rest. NO REGRETS.

    But ease your troubled mind. You are NEVER alone. NEVER.

    We all love you. We’re all here with you.
    KNOW YOU ARE LOVED!

    With you all,
    Annie

  6. Todd and Susan Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 8:29 am

    We hear you Rob. You don’t have to always be “Super Rob” on our account. You are fine the way you are- and the way you were- and the way you will be. Share with us anytime. Please keep sharing when you can. Although this news is bad, we still appreciate hearing from you. We love the picture! I envy the mutton chops. Sadie is such a cutie! Much love and strength from Todd and Susan.

  7. Bryan Ternay Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 8:55 am

    Rob, Wish I was there to help lift your spirits, by talking about the Ol’ Days. I miss you and love you. Bryan

  8. Mark Hourani Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 8:56 am

    Hang in there my dear friend. My daughter Payton faithfully prays for you every day as we all do.

    I miss and love you ROB! We wish you and your family all the strength and joy in this difficult time.

  9. Kim Vickery Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 10:32 am

    Rob, I give you tons of credit for recognizing you’re going nutty…it’s no wonder with everything you’ve gone through and continue to go through. Don’t be scared. Keep that awesome sense of humor and fight for life. Know that we all love you, despite being wacky…:) Take each day as it comes and go with the tide. We might live many miles apart, but we’re right beside you and your family. Love you, Rob!

    Kim

  10. Jim Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 11:38 am

    Rob, I’m still in your corner, brother. Think about you guys often, and pray every time I do for a miracle to happen in your lives, whatever shape that miracle takes. Wish there was more I could do for you, but at very least – know how much you’ve had a positive impact on my life. I would not be where I am today without your friendship and belief in me. So, in return, I extend my belief in you to hang in there and beat this.

  11. Mark Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    Rob, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. The good thing about being insane is that you can escape reality at times. One thing I can tell you from experience though is that life is the ‘darkest right before dawn’. I’ve been in dark places a number of times in my life only to experience shortly thereafter, a new ‘awakening’ and acquire a very positive outlook on life.

    I know yours and your family’s strength will see you through the darkest of times. What I also know about you it that you have so much love to give. We are all here for you in any way you need. My thoughts and prayers are with you on your journey.

    Mark

  12. Jaclyn Vickery Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 4:05 pm

    Rob, we all have so much love for you and your family. Your strength throughout this whole thing is beyond anything even fathomable to me, and such an incredible inspiration. Hang in there… My thoughts and well wishes are with you, Kasey, and the kiddos.

  13. Steve Ellen Says:
    March 9th, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    Its been so very long since we had any relationship at all. We all went our own ways, such is life. And yet just because we haven’t talked in oh… 20 yrs, doesn’t mean you aren’t always a part of my life. You are and always will be. You are signficant to me.

    Imagine, if you will, a handful of pebbles tossed high to land in a pond. Each of us a pebble. Me a pebble; you a pebble; Bry a pebble; Mark a pebble, Gino, Rob Mc, etc… for a while who could distinguish which pebble created which ripple.

    The ripples spread. The direction of our lives affected by each other and back again.

    We have all had are ups and downs… sounds trite, but you know it is true. Life is change and growth is learning to accept it and move forward. I’ve learned that we are only given what we can handle, nothing more and nothing less. Positive and negative are meaningless associations, change is beyond these concepts.

    You have been given this challenge because you are equal to it. No more and no less.

    You make big ripples;)

  14. Bob Trainor Says:
    March 10th, 2012 at 11:31 am

    Must not focus on the end……Focus for today and move forward buddy. Your power and strength towards your focus is coming from your family and your wonderful friends above.

    The cards have been dealt….Roll with it and take each day as a gift… and “Keep on Keepin On” . You are doing just fine.

    Love you guys…My thoughts are with you each and every day.

    B

  15. Gino Says:
    March 12th, 2012 at 11:53 am

    Rob & Kasey,
    You are dear friends. If you would like someone to come visit, to simply sit and talk, or hug, I can be there in a few hours – and more than happy to do so. Just shout, call or write. Thinking about you guys constantly… and hoping for the best. If you should need anything, especially emotional support, please let me know. All my best, Gino.

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